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That's Life |
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Two workmen, in overalls and boots, are working
noisily. Each has a pneumatic drill (either "real" or imaginary).
Their conversation is punctuated by noisy bursts of simultaneous drill-fire.
(The drill noise should be orally produced by both actors in unison.)
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WORKER 1 |
You been on holiday yet? |
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ADUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUG |
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WORKER 2 |
Yeah. |
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ADUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUG |
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WORKER 1 |
Where'd you go then? |
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ADUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUG |
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WORKER 2 |
Spain. |
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ADUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUG |
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WORKER 1 |
Yeah? |
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ADUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUNKA-DUG |
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WORKER 2 |
Costa del Monte. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
D'you 'ave a good time? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Yeah. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
Nice hotel? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Near the beach. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
Good food? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Yeah. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Chips wiv everything. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
What about the weather? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Lovely, lovely! |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
You go by plane, then? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Yeah. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
Good flight? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Awful! |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
Why's that then? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Engine blew up. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
No?! |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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Workman 1 turns to Workman 2 expectantly.
Silence. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
What 'appened then? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Wing fell off, didn't it? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
Really?! |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Plane fell out o' the sky like a can o' beans |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
Awful! |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Crashed in some French forest. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
Dreadful! |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
I should say so. |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
Anyone killed? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
Everyone! No survivors! |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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Worker 1 realises the implications of what
Worker 2 has just said and stops mid-DUNKA. He looks puzzled |
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WORKER 1 |
Hold on. If there were no survivors ... |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 1 |
... how come you're still living? |
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ADUNKA-etc. |
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WORKER 2 |
You call this "living"? |
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WORKER 1 |
Hmmm!
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They look at each other, both shrug and walk off
stage. |
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- END - |