|
ANGEL |
With a cool
wave of the hand. |
Hi!
|
|
GIDEON |
Over shoulder,
still working. |
Oh ... hello.
|
|
ANGEL |
A little
sarcastic. |
Don't bother
to stop. |
|
GIDEON |
Bends to lift
sack. |
I'm sorry, but
I've a lot to do. |
|
ANGEL |
Haughty. |
There's no
need to bow. |
|
GIDEON |
|
I wasn't going
to ... |
|
ANGEL |
|
There's no
point standing on ceremony. |
|
GIDEON |
A little
annoyed. |
Now listen ...
|
|
ANGEL |
|
After all,
angels are merely servants. |
|
GIDEON |
Stops working,
incredulous. |
Angels?
You're an angel? |
|
ANGEL |
Formally,
proffering card. |
Luminous
Presence at your service. My card. |
|
GIDEON |
Humouring the
"angel". |
Pleased to
meet you. |
| |
GIDEON turns
to the audience and taps his forehead to indicate the newcomer- is "nutty".
There is a very brief pause |
|
|
ANGEL |
|
You don't
believe me, do you? |
| |
GIDEON is
about to answer, affirmative of course, but the ANGEL puts his finger to
GIDEON's lips. |
|
|
ANGEL |
|
"Thou shalt
not bear false witness." Do you believe I'm an angel? |
|
GIDEON |
|
Quite frankly
... no. I mean, I'd like to ... don't take it personally ... but,
well, where's your halo .. and the wings? |
|
ANGEL |
Slaps hand to
forehead - then explains slowly, as if to an idiot. |
Every time!
Why do they all ask about the wings. Listen. Have you ever met
an angel? No. So how do you know they have wings? You
don't. As for me ... I am an angel, so I do know about it. We -
don't - have - wings. (aside)
Well, sometimes the de-luxe version... |
|
GIDEON |
|
Look. I don't
want to appear sceptical, but do you have any way of proving that you're an
angel? |
|
ANGEL |
|
We have
certain ... "abilities" |
|
GIDEON |
|
Such as?
|
|
ANGEL |
|
Prediction.
|
|
GIDEON |
|
I beg your
pardon. |
|
ANGEL |
|
You know ...
telling the future. For example, I can tell you exactly what you're
going to say next. |
| |
During this
next sequence, timing is essential. The ANGEL says his own lines, but also
GIDEON's ... in unison, word perfect. |
|
|
BOTH |
|
Don't be
silly. Even I don't know what I'm going to say next. |
|
ANGEL |
|
It's just a
little skill you develop. |
|
BOTH |
|
But you could
have guessed, couldn't you? |
|
ANGEL |
|
Uh-huh.
|
|
BOTH |
|
It's just not
possible.
I don't believe this.
I'm dreaming (Angel shakes his head)
You're a lip-reader. (Angel shakes head)
A mind reader (Angel shakes head)
An angel?! (incredulous) (Angel nods)
O.K. So you are an angel (Angel shakes Gideon by the
hand)
Look, can we stop the stereo?
It's
just a bit
confusing. |
|
ANGEL |
|
Sorry, I
forgot. |
| |
They both
stand there. The ANGEL picks fluff off his suit, inspects his nails, etc.
GIDEON is expectant. |
|
|
GIDEON |
|
Well?
|
|
ANGEL |
|
Well what? |
|
GIDEON |
|
Define
"angel". |
|
ANGEL |
|
An angel is a
spiritual being, a messenger from God ... (suddenly
realises) The message! (fumbles
in pocket; takes out telegram and reads formally.)
Gideon, son of
Joash. STOP
The Lord is
with you. STOP
Stop moaning.
STOP
Do something.
STOP
Get busy on
idol. STOP
Lead attack on
Midian. STOP |
| |
GIDEON has
sunk down onto the box, despairing and in disbelief. Initially the
ANGEL is quite pleased with himself now that he has delivered the message,
until he realises that the message has not been received as he expected.
The ANGEL becomes more "human" and sits down beside GIDEON. |
|
|
ANGEL |
|
Come on now
... this is a privilege. |
|
GIDEON |
|
You don't
understand. I'm just nobody. I'm not special. I can't do
anything. Who's going to listen to me? |
|
ANGEL |
Stands.
Scratches head. Looks at telegram. Looks at GIDEON. Looks
puzzled. Walks a few steps away then turns. |
Do you need a
hearing aid? |
|
GIDEON |
Puzzled. |
Pardon?
|
|
ANGEL |
|
It's just as I
thought. You didn't hear it. |
| |
The ANGEL
breathes deeply, extends the telegram and reads once more, formally ... and
louder. |
|
|
ANGEL |
Looks at
GIDEON to see if he is taking it in. Looks a little smug. GIDEON
is a little puzzled |
Gideon, Son of
Joash. STOP
The Lord is
with you. STOP
Why are you so
worried? With a promise like that, how can you fail? THE LORD IS WITH
YOU. None of our past heroes has been "special". It's the Lord that's
special. Of course YOU can't do anything. But HE CAN.
Listen. |
|
ANGEL |
"'Ave you 'eard",
the ANGEL's "song", is spoken rather than sung, in a rhythmic "rapping"
fashion. It may be possible for GIDEON to "act out" some of the
stories. |
Ave you 'eard
.... that story?
I feel like the man on "Jackanory"
About Noah .... who built the Ark,
The people thought he did it for a lark.
Then it rained .... and it poured
Noah simply shouted, "All aboard!"
Then it rained .... a lot more,
The people thought the weather was a bore.
Noah pleaded .... they wouldn't hear,
As the Ark sailed away they raised a cheer;
"He's a nut-case .... I'll be bound"
So they hurled abuse and jeered - and they drowned |
|
GIDEON |
The CHORUS is
a quick-fire exchange. |
Eee 'eck! |
|
ANGEL |
By gum!
|
|
GIDEON |
|
Golly gosh! |
|
ANGEL |
|
Well I never!
|
|
GIDEON |
|
Is it true?
|
|
ANGEL |
|
It's in the
Bible. |
|
GIDEON |
|
What d'you
know?! |
|
ANGEL |
|
Quite a lot
|
|
GIDEON |
|
Is that so? |
|
ANGEL |
|
I tell the
truth. |
|
GIDEON |
|
Gospel truth? |
|
ANGEL |
|
Of course. |
|
GIDEON |
|
Hallelujah!
|
|
ANGEL |
|
Praise the
Lord! |
|
GIDEON |
|
Amen. |
|
ANGEL |
|
Another verse? |
|
GIDEON |
|
If you would. |
|
ANGEL |
|
Well ... here
goes ... |
| |
VERSE 2 |
You'll know
.... needn't ask it,
How they hid the baby Moses in a basket
In the reeds .... of the Nile
And the princess came and found him in a while.
In the palace .... as he grew
Moses knew that he was really still a Jew,
So he told .... the Pharaoh
He would have to let the people go.
He said, "No! .... You dirty dogs"
Didn't know about the boils and the frogs
And the gnats and the flies and disease;
Nine plagues brought Pharaoh to his knees.
Say the truth .... with bated breath
Then the Lord sent out an angel ... of death! |
|
BOTH |
|
CHORUS |
|
ANGEL |
VERSE 3 |
You'll 'ave 'eard
.... I'm sure you know,
'Bout Joshua and the battle of Jericho.
They just walked .... round and round;
The army dragged its feet upon the ground.
Still they walked .... a little more;
This sponsored walk was really quite a bore.
So they jogged .... for a bit;
After all they might as well keep fit.
And still they walked .... around the wall;
If it didn't stop, upon the ground they'd fall.
Trumpets sounded .... they gave a yell,
They were shocked and amazed ... the walls fell! |
|
BOTH |
|
CHORUS |
|
ANGEL |
VERSE 4 |
'Ave you 'eard
.... that tale?
The one about Jonah and the whale.
The Lord said..... |
|
GIDEON |
Interrupting |
Excuse me!
Stop! Hold it! |
|
ANGEL |
Innocently |
Yes? |
|
GIDEON |
|
You did say
"whale", didn't you? |
|
ANGEL |
|
Whale?
Did I say "whale"'? Really? Whale? Well, perhaps |
|
GIDEON |
|
You did.
You said "whale". Know what I'm going to say next? |
|
BOTH |
|
The Bible
doesn't say it was a whale. The Bible says it was a fish. |
|
ANGEL |
|
But "whale"
rhymes with "tale" and "fish" doesn't rhyme with anything. Couldn't I?
Just this once ... ? |
|
GIDEON |
Shakes his
head emphatically |
You'll just
have to think of something. After all, you ARE an angel.
|
|
ANGEL |
Thinks
melodramatically, then comes up with ... |
'Ave you 'eard
. ... like me
The one about Jonah and the creature from the sea!
The Lord said .... "You'll go far;
In fact I'm sending you to Ninny-vah."
But Jonah fled .... aboard a boat,
Till his angels told the Lord he was afloat.
So the Lord .... sent a squall
With thunderings and lightenings and all.
"Throw me over! .... Save the ship!"
So the sailors all obliged him, toodle pip!
Gobble gobble .... munch munch,
There was this fish that swallowed Jonah for his lunch.
To Ninny-vah .... it took him off,
Coughed him up upon the beach, "Cough cough!" |
|
BOTH |
|
CHORUS - with revised
ending |
|
GIDEON |
|
Hallelujah!
|
|
ANGEL |
|
Praise the
Lord! |
|
GIDEON |
|
Amen |
|
ANGEL |
|
... And
AMEN. |
| |
|
So you see,
you don't have to be clever or brave or strong; you just have to trust the
Lord. |
| |
GIDEON is
about to protest - but the angel places a forefinger to GIDEON's lips.
GIDEON sighs. |
|
|
ANGEL |
The ANGEL
begins to leave. |
Oh well, I
must fly ... figure of speech, you understand. |
|
GIDEON |
|
'Bye! The Lord
be with you! |
|
ANGEL |
Winks and
exits. |
And with you! |
|
GIDEON |
Shakes his
head, sighs deeply |
And with me
... even me. |
|
- END - |
